Written by Jonathan Breeden
One of the most difficult decisions parents face during a North Carolina divorce is who the children will live with and who will make decisions about their wellbeing.
Matters can be complicated when children give their opinions. Will the court consider their wishes, or will a judge overrule their opinions?
Learn more about custody, how children’s wishes are respected, and what a Raleigh custody lawyer can do for you and your family.
In North Carolina, child custody laws focus on children’s best interests.
This means that the court aims to make a decision that will most benefit the child’s well-being, happiness, and development.
There are two types of custody: physical and legal. Physical custody refers to where the child lives, while legal custody involves making important decisions about the child’s life, such as their education, health care, and religion.
A child’s opinion can play a role in custody decisions, but it is not the only factor.
The court considers the child’s age and maturity when deciding how much weight to give their preference. There is no specific age at which a child can decide where they want to live.
Instead, the judge looks at whether the child is mature enough to understand the consequences of their choice. For example, an older teenager’s opinion might be given more consideration than that of a younger child.
In some cases, the judge might speak with the child privately to understand their wishes. This conversation often happens in the judge’s office rather than in a courtroom to make the child feel more comfortable. However, the child’s preference is just one of many factors the judge will consider.
When determining custody, judges look at various aspects of each parent’s situation.
One of the most important factors is the relationship between the child and each parent. Judges want to know which parent has been more involved in the child’s daily life and who can provide a loving environment.
The stability of each parent’s home is also crucial. The judge will consider whether each parent’s home is safe and whether it meets the child’s physical and emotional needs.
This includes looking at the mental and physical health of the parents. A parent’s ability to provide a consistent routine, help with schoolwork, and offer emotional support is very important.
Another factor is the child’s ties to their school, friends, and community. Judges prefer not to disrupt a child’s life more than necessary. If one parent can keep the child in the same school and neighborhood, this stability might weigh in their favor.
Judges also consider any history of substance abuse or domestic violence. If a parent has struggled with alcohol, drugs, or has been violent, the judge might decide that it is not safe for the child to live with that parent.
Finally, judges look at each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent.
It’s critical for children to have a healthy relationship with both parents. If one parent is trying to turn the child against the other parent or is not cooperating with visitation arrangements, the judge might view this negatively.
Before making a final decision, judges often require parents to go through mediation.
Mediation is a process where parents work with a neutral third party to try to reach an agreement on custody and other issues.
The goal of mediation is to reduce conflict and help parents come to a solution that works for everyone, especially the child. Mediation can be less stressful than a court trial and allows parents to have more control over the outcome.
In some cases, the court might order a custody evaluation. This involves a trained professional, such as a psychologist, meeting with the family to assess each parent’s ability to care for the child.
The evaluator will then make a recommendation to the court about what custody arrangement would be in the child’s best interest.
If you want the court to consider your child’s preference, it’s important to approach this carefully.
One of the best ways to do this is by working with a child custody attorney. An attorney can help you understand the legal process and prepare your case.
Your attorney can also guide you on how to present your child’s wishes in a way that respects the court’s procedures and focuses on the child’s best interests.
Preparing for court or mediation involves gathering evidence to show that you can provide a stable and loving home for your child
This might include school records, medical records, and statements from teachers or family friends who can speak to your ability as a parent.
It’s also important to show that you are willing to support your child’s relationship with the other parent, even if you do not always agree with them.
During the process, make sure to talk to your child and listen to their feelings and concerns. However, avoid pressuring them to choose sides or decide. The court wants to see that the child’s opinion is their own and not influenced by one parent over the other.
In North Carolina, a child’s preference is just one part of the custody decision. The court considers many factors to determine what is in the best interest of the child. To ensure that your child’s welfare is protected and you can stay involved in their life, work with a skilled family law firm, like The Breeden Law Office.
Founded and led by Attorney Jonathan Breeden, our mission is to protect families in North Carolina. We know that custody issues can be overwhelming. We’ll listen to your story and to make your side heard. We’ve helped families in similar spots, and we’re ready to help.
Call (919) 661-4970 or fill out our contact form to get started on your case today.